Celebrity Boxing Matches

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The 38-year-old Damon was once a boxer too. The "Jewish Bomber," as he was called, retired undefeated (9-0) in 1994 after an out-of-the-ring injury resulted in a herniated disc in his neck. He turned promoter and staged numerous novelty events—Tough Guy competitions, pro wrestling matches, dwarf boxing. "I was never really interested in the midget stuff," he admits.

He was intrigued by celebrity boxing. During the spring of 2002, Fox broadcast two nights of celeb matches. The first installment featured child-actor-gone-bad Danny Bonaduce and figure-skating villainess Tonya Harding. Bonaduce beat one of the aging kids from The Brady Bunch; Harding toyed with Bill Clinton accuser Paula Jones, who wore protective gear during the match to safeguard her new nose.

(Episode II pitted 7-foot-7-inch N.B.A. flagpole Manute Bol against 400-pound N.F.L. floor safe William "The Refrigerator" Perry. Bobbitt had been scheduled to face celebrated adulterer Joey Buttafuoco, but got scratched after being charged with roughing up his third wife.)

Feldman saw potential in Harding, whose C.V. included an arrest for assaulting her boyfriend with a hubcap. Three years ago he lined up a fight with a mailman at Gators Bar in New Castle, Delaware. The match drew a few hundred people at $20 a pop. Though a few dozen pounds above her triple-axel-nailing prime, Harding won a unanimous decision.

Buoyed by success, he booked the disgraced Olympian at Beach Bums in Fort Lauderdale. Harding was set to box the transvestite Daisy D. until the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation stepped in and refused to let her spar against an inexperienced opponent.

When Feldman tried to get her to wrestle instead, Harding screamed, "I don't want to be a sideshow!"

Feldman screamed back: "Tonya, your whole image is a sideshow!"

Harding didn't grapple, but she did sell $10 Polaroids of herself with spectators. Feldman withheld her $2,500 purse, and refused to give money back to audience members. The event went on with several Harding-less wrestling matches. "I lost about $15,000 on that one," Feldman recalls.

His latest faded star is José Canseco, baseball's juiced-up black sheep. Last summer the 1988 American League M.V.P. squared off with former N.F.L. return specialist Vai Sikahema at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City.

The onetime Bash Brother claimed to be trained in tae kwon do, kung fu, and Muay Thai, a martial art perfected at Trader Vic's. On the other hand, he also claimed Roger Clemens wasn't at his pool party.

Canseco's motivation may have been more fortune than fame. He was cash-strapped because of divorce settlements to his two ex-wives that cost him $15 million and his opulent California estate. For getting knocked out in 30 seconds by Sikahema, Canseco took home all of $12,500.

On January 17, Feldman will put on his dream mis-match: the 6-foot-4, 250-pound Canseco versus the 5-foot-6, 160-pound Bonaduce. Feldman isn't offering a purse: The two pugs will share the internet pay-per-view sales—at $9.99 a hit.

It may be a statistical improbability, but that won't stop true boxing fans from rooting for simultaneous K.O.'s.

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