The Psychophysiology Of Fear

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Since anxiety runs in my mother's family, and I used to get very anxious when I was younger, I secretly wonder: Will I turn out to have issues I've tried to bury deep in my amygdala or some other recess of my brain?

I do what Goldin has asked: I tell myself in the scanner that I'm not a loser; that I do stand up for myself.

In fact, back in the managing editor's office, I did speak up, telling him I'd worked hard on that story and deserved to write it. I also suggested that next time he tell me first before announcing it to the staff. The editor responded by looking me over like he'd never noticed me before.

He said I was right, he should have come to me first, and that I was ready to write the story. But changing his mind didn't change his decision—I'd get a reporting byline, but the other guy would write it. "Next time, though, the byline will be yours," he said.

I kept my cool long enough to casually walk out of his office. Then I ran to the men's room, and nearly threw up. This episode is a key moment for me in learning to push down my anxiety to the point that it bothers me far less today—though it took years of similar episodes.

My struggle to overcome anxiety is exactly what Goldin and Werner are measuring in the f.M.R.I. They can actually see the pathways lighting up from the frontal lobe—the seat of rational thinking, and where we make decisions—essentially telling the amygdala to settle down.

"The amazing thing is that the brain can make changes," says Goldin. "Most of this happens in the amygdala, and it can be tempered to learn and adapt."

My results did show adaptation in action. When I read my story and saw the lines about being a loser, my brain grew anxious. But I was able to modulate its reaction—to tell my amygdala to chill out.

I was relieved, although given that anxiety still lurks in the back of my mind in certain circumstances, I don't entirely believe that I'm always able to damp it down.

I didn't participate in the rest of the Gross lab's experiment, in which researchers trained healthy and unhealthy subjects in three ways—traditional psychotherapy, meditation, and exercise—to see if they can learn to modulate their anxiety.

The experiment continues as the subjects are scanned to see how their brains respond and hopefully adapt to the therapies.

This experiment will be described in greater detail in the upcoming book: Experimental Man: What One Man's Body Reveals About His Future, Your Health, and Our Toxic World, due out in March 2009.

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