Political Hybrids
The road to the White House is jammed with many different models. Portfolio.com offers a tongue-in-cheek buyers' guide for voters who are still kicking tires.
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With the arrival of the 2008 North American International Auto Show in Detroit, Americans can take an occasional break from the nonstop news coverage of the presidential primaries, and turn instead to non-stop coverage of cars and trucks.
The big news at the auto show: Hybrids, which combine gasoline engines with electric motors to produce powerful cars with outstanding fuel efficiency. Another notable trend will be crossovers, which blend the roominess and ride of minivans with the rugged styling and all-wheel-drive capability of sport-utility vehicles.
A close inspection of the offerings at the car show will also reveal special hybrids and crossovers for the political season. Here are a few of the most prominent:
This car, with its special appeal for women, got off to a very fast start. It was marketed as having a proven design, and initially its dominance was regarded as inevitable. Upstarts have recently emerged to test the Hillarius's racing prowess, but this model has proven capable of mounting surprising comebacks.
The most popular color for this vehicle is black, but the Barackade has been selling surprisingly well in white and assorted other colors. The Barackade's drawback is that since it's fairly new to the market, its long-term reliability can't be assessed.
The big news at the auto show: Hybrids, which combine gasoline engines with electric motors to produce powerful cars with outstanding fuel efficiency. Another notable trend will be crossovers, which blend the roominess and ride of minivans with the rugged styling and all-wheel-drive capability of sport-utility vehicles.
A close inspection of the offerings at the car show will also reveal special hybrids and crossovers for the political season. Here are a few of the most prominent:
The Hillarius
This hybrid combines the head of Hillary Clinton with the platform of a Toyota Prius. The Hillarius can switch back and forth between gasoline and electric power with ease, so no one can tell exactly what it's running on at any given moment. But the great strength of the Hillarius is its fierce dedication to power from any source.This car, with its special appeal for women, got off to a very fast start. It was marketed as having a proven design, and initially its dominance was regarded as inevitable. Upstarts have recently emerged to test the Hillarius's racing prowess, but this model has proven capable of mounting surprising comebacks.
The Barackade
This crossover has the brain of Barack Obama and the body of a Cadillac Escalade. Powered by platitudes and marketed as having a formidable ability to stop front-runners in their tracks, the Barackade is a special favorite of sports stars and celebrities.The most popular color for this vehicle is black, but the Barackade has been selling surprisingly well in white and assorted other colors. The Barackade's drawback is that since it's fairly new to the market, its long-term reliability can't be assessed.
The Huckster
This merges the unique qualities of Governor Mike Huckabee with the attributes of a classic British roadster. The steering wheel, like those on all British cars, is on the right. The Huckster, a niche car with a small but devoted following, got off to a surprisingly fast start in the current racing season. The new, slimmed-down auto is much faster than the bloated version of a few years ago, but it remains far from clear as to whether or not the Huckster has enough balance to prevail in a long race.The Volcaino
Blending the sturdiness of a Volvo XC90 with the determination and occasional explosiveness of John McCain, the Volcaino is a fairly old model. Some experts at first thought buyers would reject it as outdated since it's been on the market for so long.But the Volcaino has proved surprisingly durable in its appeal. It has shown a remarkable ability to run well in the snows of New Hampshire in spite of being manufactured in Arizona.
The Rudolf
This hybrid puts the head of Rudy Giuliani together with the remarkable agility of the Volkswagen Golf. In the case of the Rudolf, not just the nose but the entire face sometimes turns red. This condition appears to surface more or less simultaneously with news reports about Giuliani's discredited associates or his hurrying to the Hamptons to pursue official affairs.So far the Rudolf has been able to steer adeptly enough to avoid being either racked or pinioned, but at some point soon it must show that it can win a race.
The Backwards
This crossover has the body of a Subaru Outback and the hair of John Edwards. It exudes an undeniable charisma and takes more smoothly to the campaign trail than almost any other choice here.Like all Subarus, it has standard all-wheel-drive, but the Backwards' ability to generate enough traction to prevail in this race is open to question.
The Mittsubishi Eclipse
Between the pocketbook of Mitt Romney and the chassis of the Mitsubishi Eclipse, it took tens of millions of dollars to develop this hybrid.Despite all the spending, though, the Eclipse has suffered from a blurred image in the market and has posted disappointing finishes on tracks in both Iowa and New Hampshire. At this point, the Mittsubishi Eclipse seems destined to live up to its name.
The Frodo
Not to be confused with a little man from Middle Earth, this model is a cross between Fred Thompson and an automotive odometer. Frodo the film character displayed remarkable determination in achieving his goal despite overwhelming odds. His political namesake also possesses an entertainment background. As for the vehicle, the level of its determination -- not to mention the breadth of its appeal -- remains suspect.The Impaula
This hybrid of the Chevy Impala and Representative Ron Paul of Texas seems dedicated to abolishing the rules of the road -- speed limits, stop signs, etc. -- in the name of individual freedom. Although it's been surprisingly successful in the market, thanks to a small but dedicated following, no one is predicting victory.The Kucible
This blends the features of Dennis Kucinich with the top of a convertible, which flips up and down with amazing ease.Several vehicles have dropped out of the race very quickly, since they ran out of gas. The first, a cross between Senator Chris Dodd and a Chrysler Sebring, has a self-explanatory name: the Doddering. The second combines Senator Joe Biden of Delaware with the General Motors Hummer and is called the Bummer.
Even this early in the season, many Americans are complaining that the presidential race seems inspired by Infiniti. This sentiment might bode well for sales of one hybrid in particular, the Ford Escape. But after the election in November, another car may perhaps come to the fore, even though it hasn't been sighted often lately.
It is called the Accord.




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