Why the World Will be Duller with Gates Gone

Kevin Maney gets misty: Ah, this is Bill Gates' last hurrah as a real Microsoft employee. Wow. My friend Steven Levy has done a fine job of chronocling the end of the Gates era in the latest Newsweek. But alas, not Steven nor anyone is making the point that matters to me: Gates was such a great figure to write about, and for that reason he will be missed by me and my colleagues.

Gates was at once an icon and caricature. He was bigger than the industry and bigger than life, so he could be used as a symbol, a throw-away line, a benchmark, an adjective. (I know I've seen "Gatesian" used more than once.) Gates was both overly serious -- which is a helpful trait whenever you want to poke a little fun at someone -- and had a brilliant sense of humor. You had to appreciate just how willing he was to make fun of himself. Just look at the videos he'd make for CES every year.

I don't know if there really are other reasons to miss Bill G. He hasn't been a real leader in where tech or the Net is going in quite some time. He hasn't had a credible vision for the industry. His most exciting work for years now has been his philanthropy -- and God bless him for that. Gates truly might be the greatest philanthropist in U.S. history, and that's saying something.

Anyway, I've written about Gates more times than I can count, but I wanted to share one particular piece. It ran in USA TODAY in 2003, and I don't know what in the world inspired me to do it. But I rewrote the epic poem Casey At the Bat as Gatesy At the Bat. Here you go: 

Gatesy at the Bat

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Redmond team that day;

They were looking kind of weary, less impressive, even fey.

And when Redmond lost some battles, and its stock was looking lame

A pall-like silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few investors fell into deep despair. The rest

Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;

They thought, "If only Gatesy could but get a whack at that --

We'd put up even money now, with Gatesy at the bat."

But he was getting older -- Gatesy seemed a different man.

Not like the one who always thrashed every comer in the land.

So on that day those fans endured a feeling of the blues;

For Gatesy, in advancing years, far less often made the news.

Yet tech was looking better, to the wonderment of all,

And Nasdaq, long depressing, tore the cover off the ball;

And when the dust had lifted, investors saw the stage was set

For some new Redmond effort to conquer all the Internet.

From 50,000 Redmonites there rose a lusty yell;

It rumbled through tech's Valley, it rattled down at Dell;

So what if tech had gotten dull? So what if it was flat?

For Gatesy, mighty Gatesy, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Gatesy's manner as he stepped into his place;

No longer dogged by antitrust, a smile lit Gatesy's face.

And though Steve Ballmer ran the business -- Gatesy'd had enough of that --

No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Gatesy at the bat.

The whole world's eyes were on him. He rocked to and fro with glee.

He'd done that back when he and Jack Welch launched MSNBC.

In his day he scared the pants off every industry's execs,

Now hunger again flashed in his eye, he puffed his programmer's pecs.

And now hurtling toward Gatesy came free open-source software,

And Gatesy stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.

Linux and its counterparts toward the batsman sped.

"That ain't my style," said Gatesy. "Strike one!" tech buyers said.

Back in Redmond, from employees there went up a muffled roar.

Like the beating of the storm waves on a stern and distant shore.

"Kill that Linux penguin!" shouted some of them with lust;

And it's likely they'd have killed it but for fear of antitrust.

With a smile of Christian charity, Gatesy once again got set;

He knew he had another play -- this one he called dot-Net.

He signaled he was ready; into the market dot-Net flew;

But the market largely ignored it, and tech buyers said, "Strike two!"

"Fraud!" cried the maddened Redmondites, and echo answered, "Fraud!"

But one scornful look from Gatesy and the multitudes were awed.

They knew he never could let up until whole industries he rocked;

So he found a different way to do it: Instead of options, he'd give stock.

Like in the past, competitors all clenched their teeth in hate;

They'd always lured employees by heaping options on their plates.

So here is Gatesy's gutsy move to once again impose his will;

The pitch flies in, he cuts the air, but alas, the crowd is still.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;

At Oracle and IBM, perhaps their hearts are light;

And somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout;

But there's fading joy in Redmond -- mighty Gatesy has struck out.