News Corp. and Time Warner Won't Blink on Cable Deal

As the hours tick by to 2010, News Corp. and Time Warner find themselves engaged in a nail-biter of a negotiation battle over how much the cable operator will pay the media company to air Fox and its related cable networks, which include FX, Fox Sports West, and Prime Ticket. Think of it like a real-life episode of 24, with minute-by-minute reversals and teeth-gritting suspense, but without all the weapons of mass destruction or sadistic torture sessions. (Well, that depends on what you think of Family Guy.)

According to the New York Times' Brian Stelter, News Corp.'s president, Chase Carey, has refused a deal offered him by Time Warner, which carries Fox in Los Angeles, New York, Dallas, and other cities. News Corp. thinks Time Warner should pony up one dollar for each subscriber, whereas Time Warner believes those same viewers are worth 30 cents. If the two companies cannot reach an agreement by midnight tonight, Fox's broadcast of Billboard's New Years Eve Live (with host Carmen Electra live from Las Vegas!) will abruptly cut off as the ball drops in Times Square. According to the Los Angeles Times' Joe Flint, Fox News, home of Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and others has a separate deal with Time Warner that is not impacted by these talks, so you can always tune into that channel's New Years Reactionary Eve: Countdown to Obamageddon, with host Sarah Palin live from an undisclosed bunker! (OK, so that's totally fake.)

"We deeply regret that millions of Fox customers will be deprived of our programming, but we need to receive fair compensation from Time Warner Cable to go forward with them,” Carey (who clearly has never seen Family Guy) told employees in a statement quoted by Stelter.

A Time Warner spokesman told the Times of News Corp.'s Carey, "He should call it what it is, an extortion attempt necessitated by a poor advertising market and an innate desire to fatten his wallet at our customers’ expense." Complicating the negotiations, the spokesman pointed out that News Corp., which co-owns the TV and movie streaming site Hulu with Time Warner and Disney is giving away its content on the Web for free, so how can the company claim cable subscribers are worth a premium to them? (Especially the ones who like Family Guy—really, have you tried to watch that show?)

Senator John Kerry, the Massachusetts Democrat, has been trying to help with the negotiations and may seek the help of the FCC to resolve the conflict. If you live in one of the affected cities, tune in to Fox tonight at midnight to see what happened: If you see Carmen Electra, the two media companies struck a deal—and you're probably worth more than 30 cents. If you find yourself watching an infomercial for the AirClimber, Time Warner won and you could lose 10 pounds or 10 inches in just 10 days!