You Can't Spell 'Gimme' Without 'Me': An Editorial

I nearly spit up my rich, delicious Starbucks VIA coffee this morning when I read that the Federal Trade Commission was planning to release new guidelines demanding that bloggers disclose gifts of freebies (including cash) from companies whose products they review. It would've been a shame, too, since VIA is an instant coffee so good that you'd swear it was made fresh by one of the expert baristas at one of Starbucks' 8,337 stores nationwide. (Calling Starbucks "stores" is something of a misnomer: They're so comfortable—and so thoughtfully equipped with reliable high-speed wireless service from AT&T—that they feel more like an extension of your home, the plush club chairs not unlike the sort one might buy at an affordable midrange lifestyle accessory shop like Restoration Hardware or Pottery Barn.)

According to Amy Schatz and Miguel Bustillo, writing in the Wall Street Journal, a quality financial newspaper that can be delivered to your door nationwide for as little $2.29 per week ($2.69 per week if you want to bundle in a subscription to the paper's excellent website—and get two free weeks), the FTC wants to do this in "an effort to apply the same rules that already cover broadcast stations, newspapers, and magazines to the Wild West marketplace of the World Wide Web." The New York Times' Tim Arango also weighed in on the issue, which makes sense because the paper of record is like a table of contents for the whole world. and at 50 percent off home delivery, it really is a great way to start your day. Unless you have an Apple iPhone 3GS (from $199 at authorized Apple resellers) or an Amazon Kindle (which starts at $299 and lets you carry hundreds of books and magazines wherever you go!).

For bloggers, there could be potential risks for not disclosing gifts according to Schatz and Bustillo: "Bloggers and others who are paid or given freebies to promote products online will be required to offer some sort of written disclosure for readers, the FTC said, or face possible fines of as much as $11,000 per violation."

That's a strong incentive for bloggers to think before they write about products, but if you take a moment to walk around in the blogger's shoes—I personally like the comfort and classic look of Clarks, which fit any occasion from the boardroom to the discotheque—you'd see that what they're doing isn't that big of a deal.

So what if readers come to rely on a blogger find that the site is full of ads thinly veiled as content? Readers are savvy enough to know the difference between advertising and editorial, especially younger readers who've come of age since the advent of early-childhood intelligence-enhancing technology like Baby Einstein DVDs that promote literacy and critical thinking, creating a whole generation of geniuses. Today's media consumers are a savvy lot: They know for instance, that when preordering Sarah Palin's Going Rogue for $15.65 (a savings of 46 percent) from Amazon, they can add Dick Morris and Eileen McGann's Catastrophe at 5 percent off. These consumers know ads when they see them. They know an infomercial for the Sham Wow (great for the house, the boat, and the car) isn't the same thing as, say, an episode of American Idol, brought to you by AT&T and Coca-Cola. Today's media consumers aren't dummies—but if they were, there's a great series of books for them that covers everything from business to pets.

Finally, it's not like bloggers are asking for freebies directly. I mean, if I wrote that I wanted The Beatles: Rock Band Limited Edition Premium Bundle with Höfner bass controller and Beatles-branded 'Rock Band' drums for Xbox 360 (and, oh, an Xbox360 Elite, please) in exchange for favorable blog coverage, that would be a different story entirely.

I'm not asking for those things, so I don't know whatever gave you the impression that a blogger would. I mean, why would you think you could buy a blogger's favorable comments for, say, $10,000 in unmarked nonsequential bills delivered to his office by 5 p.m. EST today?

But, again, it's not like anyone is asking for this cash in an envelope marked "Donation: Feed the Bloggers Campaign." Because you can't buy a blogger. Not even for $5,000. Fine, not even for $1,000. We've got our integrity, and even $500 can't get us to write something we don't want to write. Got that, FTC?

That said, if the FTC wants some positive coverage of their new guidelines, they know where to find me, and maybe they left $100—or, heck, $10—on my desk. Or, maybe they didn't. I might be so busy blogging, I wouldn't even notice.