Bob Dylan Picked Up By Police in July; Every Journalist Suddenly a Comedian

Didja hear the one about Bob Dylan being questioned by the police?

Last week, the Associated Press' Wayne Parry reported that the legendary singer-songwriter was picked up by a New Jersey police officer in late July while "wandering around a low-income, predominantly minority neighborhood several blocks from the oceanfront looking at houses." Dylan, who was on tour and may have been looking for the house where Bruce Springsteen wrote "Born to Run," had no ID. There was no arrest. The end.

Pretty boring story, huh? Well, to judge from the spate of awful, unfunny Bob Dylan song references reporters are abusing in their retelling of this minor incident, you'd think this was the most hilarious non-story that ever happened.

AP's Parry actually started the bad hack-a-thon with the opening line, "Rock legend Bob Dylan was treated like a complete unknown by police in a New Jersey shore community when a resident called to report someone wandering around the neighborhood." He also employed the kicker, "How did it feel? A Dylan publicist did not immediately return a telephone call seeking comment Friday."

That's two lame Dylan jokes in the first article—who'd dare follow that?

CNN, for one, which went with Bob Dylan a complete unknown in Jersey town: "How does it feel? To be on your own? A complete unknown? Bob Dylan might know," wrote Deborah Brunswick. And let's not skip the UK press where the Sun's Cops treat Bob like complete unknown and the Daily Mail which ran with Like a complete unknown: Bob Dylan frogmarched to collect ID after rookie policewoman fails to recognise scruffy music legend.

The same joke apparently worked the next day when the New York Post's Lukas I. Alpert offered several bad jokes in Dylan's a Complete Unkown on August 15 including "The bizarro rock legend got tangled up in blue in Long Branch, NJ,..." and "When the "Like a Rolling Stone" crooner, who was looking for shelter from the storm..."

That same day E! Online rolled with No Direction Home: "Drifter" Dylan Stopped by Cops. Breaking slightly from the already hidebound style of jokes, the item's author, Jefferson Reid, made a Traveling Wilbury's reference.

Well, that should get it out of everyone's system, right?

Nope. The New York Times' Arts Briefly column had this on August 16: The Freewheelin’, Unrecognizable Bob Dylan with the opening line, "'How does it feel?' Bob Dylan wondered back in 1965, to be on your own, 'like a complete unknown.' Now he knows." (Where have you heard that one before?)

Next up: Miami Herald's Celebrity Roundup column offered How does it feel to be on your own, Bob Dylan? today, which in addition to its clunky headline had the kicker, "Guess it's true. When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose."

Still laughing? Well, there are plenty more of the same. Try this from PhillyBurbs.com Bob Dylan makes like Hurricane Carter; hassled by cops in Jersey for no reason, which starts with "Tangled up in Long Beach."

Then there's Rolling Stone (which should really know better), which went with Outlaw Blues: Bob Dylan Stopped By Cops After 'Suspicious' Walk.

Will it ever end? This joke's longer than "Desolation Row."

Update, 11:08 AM: Looks like the folks at Mediaite were bothered by the same thing.

---

Matt Haber is the media blogger for Portfolio.com.