Tribune's Abrams Fooled by Years-Old Spoof

Good to know that with Tribune Co. slogging its way through bankruptcy amid an industry-wide existential crisis, its chief innovation officer, Lee Abrams, is concentrating his brainpower on the stuff that really matters: A pop singer's phony quote from 10 years ago.

In his latest "think piece," the free-associative Abrams takes on the issue of "celebrity crimes against humanity," imploring Tribune journalists not to "feed this machine" by mindlessly reprinting the inanities of famous people.

But one of the examples he uses -- of Mariah Carey saying she'd love to be as skinny as a starving child in the Third World "but not with all those flies and death and stuff" -- is bogus. According to Snopes.com, Carey never said it; the "quote" is from a satirical web magazine called Cupcake, which printed it in 1996.

Here's the full memo:

From: "Abrams, Lee" <[email address redacted]> Date: January 26, 2009 10:02:01 AM EST To: [All Tribune employees] Subject: THINK PIECE: CELEBRITY CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY AND DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT

THINK PIECE: CELEBRITY CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY AND DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT

CELEBRITY CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. What I mean here is that We can't underestimate our importance these days. We can change this cultural disease. Exciting and important time to be in the information business like the 80s was an exciting time to be in show biz....we can't blow it by offering dated TV that's over slick and cliche ridden or Print too sluggish and bland. Our position is too important.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
Miss America 1995 from Alabama
Heather Whitestone (and she won??!!)

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Popular Pop Singer Mariah Carey

Scary stuff...we can't feed this machine. we need to work hard at being Intelligent but unconvemntional. Inspirational. Agents of change.