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Jul 9 2008 8:43AM EDT

Confidential to Arthur Sulzberger Jr.

So it looks like you're not going to be able to keep people from climbing the exterior of the shiny new New York Times Building, judging from the whacko who went up in the middle of the night and spread his banner across the fifth floor. And this only a few weeks after the Times promised to increase security following the arrest of two daredevils who made it all the way to the top.

At this point, you're probably second-guessing Renzo Piano's clever idea of wrapping the tower in a fun-looking jungle gym. Not so fast, I say! What if, instead of slapping handcuffs on the climbers, you charged them a hundred bucks a pop for a guided tour? That would give you a perfect answer next time one of those pesky analysts asks, in an earnings call, how you plan to "monetize" your new $600 million headquarters. You could even lead some of the tours yourself. I understand you're quite the weekend cliff-jock.


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