With the New York Times announcing that it will launch an etiquette column in the Sunday Styles section of the paper this month, good manners, it seems, are once again de rigueur.

In the spirit of the moment — are you listening, Bill? paying attention, Sam? — Portfolio.com came up with some emergency etiquette advice.

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Dear Portfolio.com,

Ok, so I blew my top yesterday over this Vanity Fair story. The piece really got to me! However, now I'm scared that I might have damaged my wife's campaign; worse, that my sporadic blow-ups might be jeopardizing my public image. How can I recover?

Sincerely, Sad in South Dakota

Dear Sad,

As any kindergartener knows, name-calling is best left to the sandbox. Mr. Purdum called you some very nasty names in a public forum. By responding the way you did, you brought more attention to the issue and simply reinforced his point: your judgment is questionable.

Time to do what any pre-schooler would — apologize. We know your aides have already issued a statement calling your reaction "inappropriate," but that won't cut it. You can't delegate this one.

Start with a gesture of friendship: you could invite Mr. Purdum and his wife, a former press secretary of yours, for a weekend in Chappaqua with you and Hillary to smooth over your differences. Or, why not offer him a spot on a Clinton Foundation junket?

Once you've made up in private, you'll feel much better about the whole dispute and will have gone a long way to restoring your public reputation.

Sincerely, Portfolio.com

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Dear Portfolio.com,
Although bad language and abrasive behavior is part of my persona, I think I may have gone too far when I said "fuck you" to one of my own reporters from the Orlando Sentinel at a public meeting. I have called her to apologize, but still feel guilty. Help.

Sincerely, Chagrined in Chicago

Dear Chagrined,

Do you think you're a rap star? Portfolio.com recommends a thorough soapy mouth cleansing. Bad language has no place in a professional work setting. From boss to employee, it's in particularly bad form.

Calling personally to apologize is a good first step. Next, since you are the boss, you must make it clear that this kind of interaction has no place in your business. You could issue a company-wide memo, using your own anecdote as a jumping off point, to illustrate that curse words are neither expected nor tolerated at work.

Finally, you must lead by example. If you think you are prone to using curse words and don't trust yourself to refrain in the future, set up a public penance system. Anyone catching you swearing can demand a $500 dollar contribution to the charity of his or her choice. Good luck.

Sincerely, Portfolio.com

by Sophia Banay

(Jeff Bercovici is on vacation.)

Media Etiquette for Those Who Should Know Better

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