So the Time 100 was last night. Sure, it's a glorified marketing program, but it's the kind of glorified marketing program where the likes of John McCain, Rupert Murdoch, Martha Stewart, Lorne Michaels and Indra Nooyi rub elbows, and where the concentration of bold-faced names is such that Mort Zuckerman, Paul Wolfowitz, Angelica Huston and Charlie Rose are relegated to the nose-bleed seats. McCain, playing to his "base," offered a classy toast to Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, Robert Downey Jr. kept trying to dig something out of his ear, and Amy Poehler and Seth Myers delivered a hilarious monologue (duologue?) that I'm assuming they got paid for. [Update: Nope.] Hopefully I'll have video to post later.

The event is about influence -- the Time 100 is supposedly the hundred most influential people of the year -- so I asked a few attendees about their own. Murdoch very politely declined to be interviewed, and Poehler somewhat less politely, but others took the bait. First up: MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, who better get his mom an extra nice card this Sunday.

Joe Scarborough, co-host of MSNBC's Morning Joe:

If you could influence anybody, who would it be?

My mother, to stop emailing me all the political rumors she gets on the internet. She sends 'em to me every morning, about all the candidates.

You never got a scoop out of that?

No scoop. This is the same mother that, when I was in Congress, would send me that email that said something like 240 members of Congress have been arrested for DUI, 20 are child-molesters, et cetera, et cetera.

But outside of my mother, telling her to stop spamming me with political hate email, it would be great to be able to influence Mika [Brzezinski], who sort of pokes and prods me every morning. But that's not likely.

Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBC's Morning Joe

Is there anyone you wish you could influence? And, just so you know, Joe did say you.

Yeah, well, the feeling's mutual. What can I say? I was about to say Joe. That's my answer and I'm sticking to it. He needs to be educated.

But if you agreed, you wouldn't have much of a show. You'd have to go your separate ways.

Well, at some point he'll be educated, and I guess we will have to go our separate ways. But I think it's a long process with him. I mean, look at that, right? It's going to take a while.

Martha Stewart:

Is there anyone you'd like to influence more?

That's a hard question. I don't really want to influence people as much as I want to inspire people. Inspiring people gives me a lot more joy than sort of influence, so take it for that.

(Stewart handler: "That was a good answer.")

Knocked Up director Judd Apatow

Is there anyone who's immune to your influence?

I don't really think I'm influencing many people, do you? I think I'm an anomaly, like Don Knotts getting nominated for an Academy Award, or Red Buttons winning the Academy Award one year. These things happen.

What are you saying about Don Knotts?

Okay, bad example. Bad example.

So there's no one in your life or in the world whom you'd like to influence more?

I'm trying to influence my children. We'll see how that goes down. In a decade, we'll know how I did.

Designer Marc Ecko.

Are you one of Time's most influential people?

No, I'm merely here invited to this very amazing event as a guy in the publishing business, with Complex, and trying to be a student to learn from these maestros, some really great leaders in the media space. So I'm here as a student.

So if you could pick up the art of influence from these people, what would you do? How would you use your newfound powers?

You know, I would...uh...

[Remembering that Ecko is a major Star Wars buff] Say you became a Jedi of influence...

Oh, a Jedi of influence, oh my goodness. That's too much power! "Control yourself, young Jedi. Do not go to the dark side of the Force! My midichlorian count is..." [trails off into Star Wars lingo].

I don't know. Honestly, it's a good vibe here. I'm not even thinking about that. I'm thinking about my whiskey. I'm thinking about how I'd influence them to allow me to keep drinking whiskey and not cross that threshold, because I actually like the taste.

Paul Wolfowitz:

Can I ask you a question?

You can try.

Well, it's a generic question. Whom would you like to influence that you're not already influencing?

Well, I'll tell you, somebody I would like to help is the guy that I wrote about in this issue. His name is Anwar Ibrahim. He's one of the most impressive...He's Muslim, he's a devout Muslim, but he's an impressive champion of tolerance and women's rights. I think the world needs more people like him.

Saturday Night Live's Will Forte

Whom would you like to be able to influence?

I would like to influence the makers of Ben & Jerry's ice cream to send me some free ice cream.

They probably will once they read this.

Thoughts are things, as my mom says.