(De)Press(ing) Releases: Sam Zell Does Shtick

Every so often, along comes an artifact that perfectly expresses the character of our times. Sometimes -- although, thankfully, not often -- that artifact is a press release from a faltering corporate giant attempting to right itself with quote-unquote humor on the order of "Hugh Jass" jokes. Today, it's a press release proving my thesis that Sam Zell has no strategy other than sheer wackiness for getting Tribune Co. out of the hole he's dug. Enjoy.

From Tribune's corporate web site, via WWD:

Surely You Can't Be Serious? Marc Chase - President Of Tribune Interactive!
Randy Michaels' run of acquiring radio-management stars came
to a screeching halt today with Chase's appointment

CHICAGO Apr. 7, 2008 -- Another freaking Clear Channel Communications executive on the payroll and this one's been named President of Tribune Interactive.

Tribune Broadcasting's Randy Michaels' past finally caught up with him when Marc Chase obviously blackmailed his way into a position he is not remotely qualified to hold. Insiders are irate. Chase is a fraud. A source inside Tribune HR, who wished to remain anonymous, pointed out that Marc Chase's resume (below) was obviously fabricated. First of all, his name isn't even Marc Chase--it's Mark Thompson. The whole thing is a sham.

MARC CHASE
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington DC 20500 202-456-1111

PROFESSINAL EXPERIENCE

Vocabulary Advisorist for George W. Bush
President of the United States of America
Washington DC, 2004-present

eBay
President of Buying Crap
San Jose, California 2003-2004

Google
Executive Vice President of Finding Crap Anywhere
Mountain View, California 2001-2002

Microsoft
Senior Executive Vice President of Technology and Stuff
Seattle, Washington, 2000-2001

CBS, ABC, NBC, FOX Television
Vice President of Watching TV A Lot
Los Angeles, California 1999-2000

Harvard University
Dean of School of Internetology
Cambridge, Massachusetts, 1998

EDUCASHION

Nearly Graduated with Honers
School of Alabama in Atlanta Georgia 1985

COMMUNITY SERVICE

400 Hours (reduced from 600)
Judge gave time off for good behavior

Chase was quoted as saying, "Timing and infrared photography are everything. I couldn't be happier! I know Randy is relieved to finally have me on Sam's payroll."

Tribune has undergone major changes in the past year, with billionaire Sam Zell acquiring the company last April in a complex deal that left it with $13 billion in debt. Since then, Zell has brought in new executives to fill key roles. This one takes the cake.

Last December, Zell hired Michaels -- who helped Zell to build Clear Channel into a radio behemoth that he could then sell -- to oversee Tribune's broadcast and Internet divisions. It is obvious Michaels has lost his mind with this hire.

--By Hugh Jass - A Reputable Media Source

?? 2008, Bogus Information, a division of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. All Rights Reserved.

:: :: ::

TRIBUNE is America's largest employee-owned media company, operating businesses in publishing, interactive and broadcasting. In publishing, Tribune's leading daily newspapers include the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.), The Sun (Baltimore), South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Orlando Sentinel and Hartford Courant. The company's broadcasting group operates 23 television stations, Superstation WGN on national cable, Chicago's WGN-AM and the Chicago Cubs baseball team. Popular news and information websites complement Tribune's print and broadcast properties and extend the company's nationwide audience. The company is also becoming known for its sense of humor and for not taking itself or the industries in which it operates too seriously.

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