Sam Zell: 'The Transaction from Hell is Done'

The $8.2 billion deal to take Tribune Co. private through an employee stock ownership plan finally went through today. Sam Zell, the Chicago real estate billionaire who engineered the deal and has named himself CEO of Tribune, is giving a press conference right now.

"I'm Sam Zell. I'm here to tell you that the transaction from hell is done," he opened.

"It's also the transaction that nobody in the world except us collectively believed was going to happen, but it did."

"So as far as I'm concerned, today is a brave new world. I'm not real interested in the past. I'm very much interested in the future. I'm very much interested in making this a great company, a company, with openness, candor, relevance, effectiveness and profitability."

Zell explained why he decided to replace Dennis FitzSimons as CEO: "I felt that I needed to be a direct agent of change and I promise you you will not be disappointed."

He also addressed concerns that the new company will be crippled by its massive debt load. "If you look at the numbers rather than listening to pundits, the bottom line is this company has a significant cash-flow cushion going forward, and we do not expect that we'll have any problem servicing our debt in the near future."

The always-colorful Zell also tossed off this great line when asked about his desire to shape editorial at Tribune's papers (the exact wording of the question wasn't audible on the webcast):

"Actually, that's always what I wanted to do, but I got such shitty grades in English that I didn't think I'd be capable. So for the 18,000th time, I don't have any editorial aspirations."

That's not exactly true, though. Zell did preview one idea he has for the Chicago Tribune: attaching URLs to every story for readers who want to learn more about the subject.

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