Fox Biz Gal: Labiaplasty is Like Stock-Picking

Rupert Murdoch has said the Fox Business Network is meant for Main Street, not Wall Street. And you know what they're really interested on Main Street? Genital reconstruction surgery.

That, at any rate, was the subject of a segment on Happy Hour, the fledging network's 5 p.m. talk show, which is set in a bar. The guest was plastic surgeon Gary Alter of Dr. 90210, who specializes in sprucing up unsightly nether regions.

Apparently a grown-up discussion involving terms like "pubic fat" and "scrotal sack" was a little too much to ask of co-host Rebecca "Gogo" Gomez reactions, whose reactions included "Come on!" and "No way!" And check out her adorable attempt to shoehorn in some business-world relevance at the very end. Here's a partial transcript:

REBECCA GOMEZ: What is the craziest procedure that you've had on your show so far?

DR. GARY ALTER: Well, on the show, probably it's a man who had a buried -- or hidden -- penis.

GOMEZ: Where was it hiding?

ALTER: Well, it was hiding in his pubic fat...

GOMEZ: Come on!

ALTER: And in his scrotal sack. And he was 49 years old -- never had intercourse.

GOMEZ: No way!

ALTER: And most -- because doctors really didn't know how to correct the problem. And fortunately, I did. I did the surgery on the show, and he consummated his marriage and is living a happy life now.

GOMEZ: Now wait a minute -- so there was one hidden or you had to create one?

ALTER: No, he had it, but it was just hiding away. It was just begging to come out! But until he came to see me, no one knew how to get it out.

GOMEZ: And, ok, and now what -- genital reconstruction. Now is this like the latest fad in plastic surgery or is this something serious?

ALTER: Well, women are getting a lot of genital plastics now.

GOMEZ: Yeah, but for a legitimate medical reason or because they wanna make it look good?

ALTER: For both reasons.

GOMEZ: Really?

ALTER: A lot of women have enlarged labia, or inner lips of their vagina, and it causes them irritation when they wear tight clothes or when they have sex or when they have sports. So there's -- and they don't like the way it looks because of pornography, etc. And women shave.

GOMEZ: Yeah, so you've gotta see it all.

ALTER: So now they're going to see doctors. I developed a technique about 10-12 years ago where I can make it short -- smaller and you can't see any visible scars.

...

GOMEZ: All right, all right. No, but seriously, if somebody wants to get plastic surgery -- do your homework.

ALTER: Do your homework.

GOMEZ: I mean, it's like stock picking. You gotta do your homework.

ALTER: Get recommendations. See a board-certified plastic surgeon by the American Board of Plastic Surgery. Make sure you go to a hospital or a certified surgical center.

GOMEZ: You never knew that, uh, plastic surgery would be similar to stock picking, huh? There you go.