Michael Eisner: Web Guru, Joke Thief

Michael Eisner's trying to rebrand himself as an internet visionary these days, and it's clear he does understand one thing: How to make yourself seem smarter with Google.

I just watched Eisner speak at the World Business Forum, and was amazed at the way the former Disney chief, described by DealBreaker.com as a "charisma black hole," had the room laughing.

His most successful bit was an extended riff on conventional business thinking.

"All too often in business we put an incredible amount of energy into uninspiring ideas," he began, before quoting a saying he attributed to the "Dakota Indians": "When you discover you're riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get on a new one."

However, he continued,

Many companies, when faced with this dilemma, would make another choice, such as

1. Buy a stronger whip.
2. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
3. Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
4. Lower the standard so that dead horses can be included.
5. reclassify the dead horse as 'living-impaired.'

...and so on. The audience loved it.

I didn't manage to transcribe the full list, but fortunately, when I entered "Dakota Indians" and "dead horse" in Google, I found this website, which seems to be the source of Eisner's bit. I'm waiting to hear back from his rep to see if he used a speechwriter or "wrote" the presentation himself.

Did I mention that the theme of his talk was "creativity"?

Actually, Eisner did show some creativity in an anecdote about making an appearance many years ago, near the start of his term at Disney, at Radio City Music Hall. (That's where the World Business Forum is being held.) Eisner chose not to use the Rockettes in his presentation. The next day, he recalled, the front page of The New York Times read "Eisner Nixes Rockettes."

"For the next year I had 20 to 30 Rockettes a month calling me, telling me Disney was not respectful," he claimed.

Do I even need to say it? There's nothing in the Times archive -- or anywhere in Nexis, for that matter -- about Eisner snubbing the Rockettes.

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Michael Eisner photo by Sandy Huffaker/Getty Images