Why There's No AlphaKitty.com For Atoosa

Atoosa Rubenstein, the defiantly weird former editor of Seventeen and Cosmogirl, is in the midst of reinventing herself as a cyber-guru, a multi-platform messiah to misunderstood teenage girls everywhere.

But she seems to have slept through part of Cyber Guru 101 -- the part where they tell you to aways make sure the URL's available.

The linchpin of Rubenstein's efforts so far is a catchphrase of her own coinage, "Alpha Kitty." That's the name of her YouTube channel, where you can watch a series called "Alpha Kitty &...Andy Warhol."

Here are a few of the products she might soon be rolling out under the Alpha Kitty brand, according to her trademark application:

Sound recordings, audiovisual recordings, DVDs, downloadable sound recordings, downloadable video recordings, all of the foregoing featuring information on topics of personal empowerment, success, self-esteem, fashion, beauty, inspiration, college, school and personal relationships; downloadable electronic publications, namely, books, magazines and newsletters; computer screen saver software, wallpaper software, and downloadable graphics

Printed publications, namely, books, magazines, newsletters and workbooks; diaries, calendars

Clothing including t-shirts and accessories

Internet services, namely, streaming of audio and visual material; bulletin boards and virtual chat rooms via text messaging and the internet featuring information in the field of general interest; mobile media services in the nature of electronic transmission of entertainment media content

Entertainment services, namely, providing a web site featuring film clips, photographs, and other multimedia materials; entertainment in the nature of an on-going special variety, news, music or comedy show...broadcast over television, satellite, audio, and video media

But for the time being, you won't be seeing any of those products on AlphaKitty.com, because Rubenstein doesn't own it. A Cleveland-based band called Alpha Kitty (which doesn't exist anymore, as far as I can discern) registered the domain in 2000.

This is what Rubenstein told me when I asked her about it via email:

yeah - i think the people who own the .com are the band. but i own everything else. God will help - i don't think not having the .com is the end of the world. look at thesecret - they have .tv and they've done great...:)

And here's a video that almost explains what the hell an Alpha Kitty is.