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Adventures in Acceleration, Goldman ...   Extra Credit, Wednesday Edition
Jun 18 2008 1:18PM EDT

Don't Make Him Angry, You Wouldn't Like Him When He's Angry

The Epicurean Dealmaker weighs in on the Goldman "acceleration" plan. He warms up slowly:

sick bastard... lie and dissemble... dodge and weave... weak-kneed, lily-livered, unprincipled, ball-less, gutless, prevaricating, backstabbing, motherfucking pussy... weasel... despicable...

But then he really gets going.

There is no form of public humiliation excruciating enough, no corporal punishment which causes lasting enough damage to serve as adequate remedy for such low, cowardly, pusillanimous behavior as this. Whoever thought up this stupid, cowardly, insulting plan should be taken to the steps of the New York Stock Exchange, disemboweled, and hung on a stick to dry, along with the senior executives who approved it and the Managing Directors who executed it. Recently laid-off investment bankers below the rank of Vice President should be issued a blanket invitation to come throw rocks and piss on their desiccated remains. Wives and mistresses of the miscreants should have their Henri Bendel store charge cards confiscated and their heads shaved, like captured collaborators in WWII. Their children should be forced to attend state schools and work for the Peace Corps.

State schools? Man, that's harsh.

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