At last night's Louis Vuitton show Marc Jacobs brought back the Supermodels to carry the creations of his latest Louis Vuitton/artist collaboration with Richard Prince. He had the models dressed as nurses. Why? I am not sure. But the ceiling was lined with covers from soft-porn novels, so naughtiness was on his mind. The bags (and the clothes) were all over the place. They tinkered with the logo, they put words down the front, they used every color in the rainbow.

The bag he chose to give to selected front-row editors was particularly bad. When my friend opened hers we laughed out-loud.

Because they were done by an artist, they are supposed to be ironic. The ghosted logo, the shiny finish are supposed to make it look like a bad Chinese fake. I don't know where they were made, but the smell they gave off was pretty powerfully toxic. So the option of these editors giving them to their daughters for dress up is out of the question -- lest they risk damaging their children's brain. But irony in bags is a risky road to take. Design really expensive bags that look cheap? How easy for a fashionista to do one better and just buy the real fake. I'm beginning to think it is time for these collaborations to come to an end. Stephen Sprouse was the first to do one -- he used grafiti print to write the logo on the bag and it made editors sit up and take notice of the new direction of the label. Then Takahashi Murakami did the signature print in bright fun colors which was fantastic, but exploited to the point where even Murakami was pissed off. I don't think this latest collaboration -- or the collection of clothes (which no one really buys anyway, 80 percent of Vuitton's revenues comes from leather goods) is going to do anything to further the house's luxury reputation.

And, in case you're wondering, the show was late again. Almost two hours late. If Marc thought the French were going to be more accepting of his tardy ways, he was wrong. At one hour after the scheduled start time, the photographers started stomping their tripods and yelling "late, late, late" prompting Tony Belloni, Bernard Arnault's number two at LVMH to have a word with the minions who were organizing the event. At 75 minutes late, Bernard Arnault himself picked up his cel phone and began making calls and sending texts. At 90 minutes late his son, with the equally excellent set of busy eyebrows (that's him over Marc's shoulder), looked to Papa to see what to do. Marc came out at the end smiling and laughing and carrying a Vuitton case that showed moving cartoons on the side.

Arnault didn't look particularly amused and I am wondering if it is time for the games at the house to end.

Rather than try to invent a new bag for Hermes. The models at the Jean Paul Gaultier-designed Hermes show carried the classic Kelly in new shapes and sizes. Tiny, long like a baguette or an evening Kelly clutch, none are as good as the original. Hermes C.E.O. Patrick Thomas told WWD that 80 percent of its products are renewed annually. But variations like these are not the same as new units. I am already getting over my own Kelly or Birkin desire -- despite the waiting list they seem to be everywhere -- and if I had the money I'd probably choose Bottega Veneta or Devi Kroell over Hermes for a bag. Thomas said he wants ready-to-wear and fashion accessories to account for 30 percent of the house's revenues in the next five years. But last year they grew just one percent and are currently only 19 percent of total sales. I am afraid that the India-inspired collection Gaultier showed over the weekend is not going to do much to help get them there.

And a gay fashion editor gave me some additional insight into the Chanel "Rehab bags" that resemble alcohol-monitor devices at Chanel.

Apparently the boys wear similar bags when they go clubbing, so that as the shed their clothes they can still keep their cash, keys, cards and pills close at hand. Or at foot, rather.