Fashion Week: How To Train A Designer

Everybody, everybody, everybody has begun their reviews of the Marc Jacobs show by talking about how late it was. Maybe it is because the clothes were so confusing. Someone did a whole history of his lateness, which has disappeared into the internet ether. If it was you, tell me and I'll link to it.

Since I have two toddlers at home, I thought I'd offer up some advice. People have come to assume that he'll be late, plan for it, and tolerate it. Even Anna sat it out, which is wrong, wrong, wrong. As the history of lateness shows, only zero tolerance works. In 2005 Anna rang Marc to say she'd leave if it was more than 30 minutes late. It wasn't.

Given the way she stormed out, I'm pretty sure Anna's already on it, but next season if the 9pm show doesn't start at 9:45 (the usual, expected degree of "lateness" in New York. Fashion show schedules are really more about when a show should finish than when it starts) then -- all together now -- get up and go! Forget the slow clapping, the angry stares, the feet stomping. Just leave. And, if you have the power, when he asks you to come to the showroom to see the collection tell him you'd like him to bring it to your office. Then make him wait in reception for two hours while assistants pop out to say "on her way," or "the pencils have just arrived!" or, "there's a storm in the Pacific". Ask if he'd like some water or an ice cream. You get the idea.

It's for his own good. By indulging him, we are only reinforcing his bad behavior. We know he can do it. We've seen Vuitton start on time for years now. Allowing this to continue is only keeping him in his childlike state, when we know that he's experienced enough to start acting like a grown up. Yes, it is tough love. But it is still love.