Smith & Wollensky's Stimulus

Maybe more companies should take the Smith & Wollensky approach to help get the economy back on track and get those who are bonus deprived spending liberally again.

The steak house's cheeky ad in the New York Times on Wednesday offered to exchange stock certificates for a big plate of red meat. "The effects on the local economy could be catastrophic, leaving large tracts of land in the Hamptons and Martha's Vineyard undeveloped; legions of real estate brokers, personal shoppers, and pet psychiatrists unemployed; and massive amounts of steak and lobster uneaten," the ad reads.

The restaurant encourages customers to bring its CIT Group, Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, and Morgan Stanley stock certificates and exchange them for sirloin, porterhouses, and ribeyes. "And, yes, we'll even accept" General Motors stock (trading around 60 cents Thursday), the ad says. Ouch.

But why stop at stocks? The barter possibilities are endless:

Want a big TV for the big game? Circuit City could accept company-issued cell phones, smartphones, and PDAs in exchange for a giant flat screen.

How about that family vacation that got put off? Disney World might be smart to take condos that are now worth less than they were three years ago.

Maybe Apple will let you trade in a pair of Kindles for a discounted iPad.

Need a new suit to start looking for a better job (you know, one that pays a bonus in something resembling cash)? Looks from the 80s—the Greed Is Good era—are coming back into fashion. Men's Wearhouse could up its hip quotient if it accepted three classic looks from Gordon Gecko's closet in exchange for one new suit.

If what you really need is a dose of therapy to deal with all the economic ups and downs, local therapists might be happy simply for a mailing list of everyone else you know who has either lost a job, gotten demoted, or had their bonuses sliced. After all, all of these folks are going to need help too.

Have another idea? Tell us below. Who knows, maybe you'll give someone the next great marketing idea.