March Madness: Wall Street Edition

Wall Street may be sucking the lifeblood out of taxpayers, but it is providing a generous bounty to one small group. No, we're not talking about AIG executives. We're talking about late-night talk show hosts.

By disclosing thatit plans to pay $165 million in employee bonuses after taking federal bailouts totaling $173 billion, AIG practically wrote Tonight Show host Jay Leno''s monologue for him last night.

A sampling:

"You all ready for March madness? But enough about AIG's big bonuses."

"Well, you've probably heard of this. The insurance company AIG has done it again. They announced they're giving their executives another $165 million in bonuses. So they bankrupt the company, took $170 billion of our dollars, and they're giving out bonuses. You know the main thing they want to reward their people for? Convincing the Treasury Department to give out $170 billion to a failing company so they can give out bonuses for a job well done. It's very well thought out."

"In fact, you know what AIG stands for? Anybody know? Adventures In Greed."

"Here's the best part. They don't have to account for any of this. Now it turns out they gave $35 billion -- not million -- $35 billion of our money to bail out European banks. See, this is how a global economy works. Our hard earned tax dollars are used to bail out German banks for making bad investments in American companies that shut down because their Japanese owners moved the whole thing to India, China and Mexico. You follow?"

"Boy, you thought St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. Let's send him down to Wall Street. That's what we should do."

Source: Frontrunner