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Screaming Booyah! at the SEC
So, Jim Cramer wants a new job.
Specifically, the Mad Money loudmouth stockpicker wants President-elect Obama to appoint him chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission. Here he was on last night's show:
DO YOU WANT A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD? THEN I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. I KNOW WHO YOU WANT. YOU WANT JAMES J. CRAMER TO BE YOUR NEXT SEC CHAIRMAN. [holds up sign Cramer for SEC chairman] THAT'S RIGHT. THROWING THE HAT IN THE RING. AS OF NOW, I'M FORMALLY PUTTING MYSELF FORWARD FOR THE JOB OF SEC CHAIR AND I WANT IT. AND FRANKLY, OBAMA WILL BE SMART TO GIVE IT TO ME. THIS ISN'T JUST MY USUAL MEGALOMANIA TALKING. I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG, BUT LOOK, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT MY RESUME [shows giant prop resume]
I'M A LAWYER BY TRAINING--I SOUND LIKE AN AD RIGHT?-- A STOCK JOCK, A FORMER HEDGE FUND MANAGER, A GUY WHO KNOWS THE TRICKS AND HAS SEEN OTHERS DO THEM. ALTHOUGH TO BE VERY CLEAR, I NEVER DID ANYTHING ILLEGAL OR EVEN CLOSE TO UNETHICAL, BECAUSE IN THE END, I AM A GOODY TWO SHOES AND I ACTUALLY HAVE A NEW PAIR OF GOODY TWO SHOES.
BUT I HAVE SEEN OTHER MONEY MANAGERS DO THINGS THAT WE ONCE STOPPED AND I KNOW HOW TO DETECT THEM. WOW, HEY LISTEN, [I] WENT TO HARVARD, [I] MUST BE REALLY SMART.
AS FDR SAID WHEN HE APPOINTED JOE KENNEDY TO RUN THE SEC, IT TAKES A FOX TO GUARD THE HEN HOUSE. THE MARKET NEEDS OBAMA TO DECLARE WHO HE WANTS TO RUN FOR THE SEC.
The all caps helps to emphasize the volume of Cramer's voice and the throbbing blue vein on his forehead.
Crazy? Maybe. So is the possibility of nominating Eliot Spitzer for the job.
But maybe crazy is just what the SEC needs. Can you imagine the congressional hearings on Cramer's nomination? Subtlety and niceties would be tossed out the window. SEC committee meetings would no longer lull attendees to sleep. They'd become a new twisted financial version of Crossfire.
And what about his discussions with Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke, who Cramer railed on last summer for being asleep at the wheel on the credit crisis? The humble, quiet academic meets the arm-swinging, out-of-his-mind investor advocate. They could charge for tickets to such an event, raising money for the TARP!
Of course, TheStreet.com and CNBC would not be pleased to lose their star stockpicker. The guy may have picked a lot of losers in his days, but that hasn't stopped the crowds from following him. Obama is most certainly not a member of Cramer's loyal audience, but chances are the president-elect has heard his message today.
by Megan Barnett
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