New Threat to Banks: Angry, Crazy Customer

The F.B.I. released information about an investigation that has grown out of the recent economic calamities that have threatened financial institutions and seized up the credit markets around the world.

The investigation isn't aimed at a rogue trader, greedy bank executive, bad-actor financial institution, or corrupt government regulator.

No, the crime the F.B.I. is investigating was committed by someone -- apparently in Texas -- who is mad as hell about being screwed by all three of those crisis stereotypes and has taken their anger a letter too far.

At least 50 threatening letters postmarked Amarillo have been mailed to banks and the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. in 11 states, the bureau says. Besides a note complaining about fatcats who "steal tens of thousands of people's money and not expect [sic] reprercussions," each envelope contained a white powder.

(If the letter writer had just moved his apostrophe to the other side of the 's', he could've said hundreds of billions instead of mere tens of thousands, a snarkier publication might note.)

At least one letter went to a Chase Bank Loan Servicing Center in Lakewood, Colorado. Ironically, J.P. Morgan Chase was largely unscathed by the subprime debacle and helped to rescue troubled institutions like Washington Mutual.

But then, sending threatening notes to failed banks seems rather pointless. Especially if they bounce back stamped "Return to Sender."

The good news is that tests suggest that the white powder in the envelopes is not toxic, indicating that the portion of the letter that says, "what you just breathed in will kill you in ten days," isn't true. Regardless, the F.B.I. says the perpetrator will face "serious jail time."

One hopes the "Threatening Letters About Financial Fraud" Task Force isn't being drawn from the already thin "Financial Fraud" Task Force which, according to a recent New York Times article, is having trouble finding manpower to investigate whether the financial crisis itself was the product of criminal activity.

To contact the F.B.I. with tips about the threatening letters (or the actual financial crisis itself), visit www.fbi.gov.

by Paul Smalera

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