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Warning Signs Of A Troubled Bank

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by Mark Stein
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Oct 01 2008 10:30am EDT

Warning Signs of a Troubled Bank

Top Ten Signs Your Bank Is In Trouble:

Courtesy of the Late Show's David Letterman:

  1. Ask to withdraw $100 and they Xerox five twenties.
  2. Once a week, bank president is led away in handcuffs.
  3. Four out of five bank tellers are kitties.
  4. Was a Savings and Loan; now a Savings and Loan and Chicken Shack.
  5. "Vault" is the trunk of a late model Chevy Malibu.
  6. When you check account balance, ATM screen reads, "What money, sucka?"
  7. They tell bank robbers, "Sorry, the C.E.O. beat you to it."
  8. They tried to borrow money from you.
  9. When you ask where your money is, they say in an adorable Alaska accent, "I'll try to find it and I'll bring it to ya!"
  10. Instead of a mint, teller offers you an antidepressant.
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