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Want Fries With That Crap Sandwich?
Late-night talk-show hosts are feasting on the economic crisis. A sampling of some of the jokes from last night:
Conan O'Brien on Late Night:
"Today, the House of Representatives voted against the Wall Street bailout plan, a plan which House Minority Leader John Boehner called a 'crap sandwich.' Congress is already working on a new plan, which they call a 'crap sandwich with cheese.' "
"Now, today, the stock market closed, it was down 777 points, which is the biggest point drop in American history. ... As a result, President Bush was able to cross off the 10th and final item on his administration's bucket list."
Jay Leno on the Tonight Show:
"Hey, before we begin, I want to warn people in Nigeria who might be watching our show. If you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam."
"I guess the big problem was the plan came in two parts and they couldn't agree on which part to implement first, the smoke or the mirrors."
"Today at CNBC, they said without a bailout, consumers wouldn't be able to get credit cards at favorable rates. Oh, that takes some getting used to, huh? You mean they've been spoiling us with that low 30 percent interest?"
"This crisis has actually affected the way children play. Like when kids play Monopoly now, the dumbest kid is the banker."
"I'll give you an idea how bad the economy is. I wrote a $5 check over the weekend. The check was good, the bank bounced."
David Letterman on the Late Show:
"A group of...mathematicians have discovered the largest prime number," which "has 13 million digits. ... Coincidentally, that is the price tag on the Federal bailout."
Source: Frontrunner
Also on Portfolio.com:
- Portfolio.com's Job of the Week: DJ
- How Did We Get Into This Mess in the First Place?
- Credit Crunched: A Special Report on Wall Street Chaos
- Wealth in America: Portfolio.com and CNBC Take the Country's Economic Temperature
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