More Tragic Victims of the Slump: Playboy Bunnies

At the end of a week in which Wall Street descended ever further into chaos and despair, we're sorry to be the bearer of even more gloomy news.

Playboy Bunnies might be the latest victims of the global financial crisis.

The Daily Telegraph in London reports that Playboy Enterprises is on the ropes, and Hugh Hefner "has been advised to cut back on staff."

Okay, okay, so the likely targets for firing are actually staff in the company's New York and Los Angeles offices. While Hef keeps a couple in the house for his own "personal use," the corps of bunnies who once served as cocktail waitresses at Playboy Clubs went extinct along with the clubs themselves in the late '80s.

Nonetheless, it's a sign of the times that in the past six months Playboy Enterprises has lost more than 50 percent of its market value. Apparently, in this time of financial uncertainty at least, people aren't turning to, um, entertainment for men as a source of escape and consolation.

Indeed, there are signs all around that the high life is in decline. Pernod, the world's second largest liquor company, said yesterday that U.S. consumers are cutting back on spending on liquor in bars.

What's wrong with you people? Not drowning your sorrows in martinis? No lad mags to make the pain go away?

Our current Puritanism runs contrary to what many people predicted on the eve of the recession. The FocusShares SINdex, an index of mid- and large-sized companies involved in liquor, cigarettes, or casinos, started trading at the end of 2007 under the theory that people are still going to drink, smoke, and gamble regardless of whether there's a recession.

But the SINdex is currently underperforming the Dow by a little over 7 percent --which, frankly, is hard to do at the moment.

by Liz Gunnison

• Tina Fey's Pay Day: How Much Is She Worth?
• Bill O'Reilly Still Mad About Seinfeld Finale
• Art of the Deals: Cartoonists Unload on Wall Street
• Credit Crunched: A Special Report on Wall Street Chaos
• Wealth in America: Portfolio.com and CNBC Take the Country's Economic Temperature