How many times have you found yourself nowhere near a computer or telephone, and struck by the desperate urge to buy a pair of pleated chinos?

Well, consider your problem solved. Ralph Lauren has announced that it will become the first luxury retailer to take the plunge into mobile retailing.

Polo's mobile commerce site is already up and running, and on a Palm Treo at least, it's easy enough to use. The images are crisp and large, the pages load quickly, and there are no unsightly formatting issues. The selection of items available is restricted to basics and classics, to avoid overwhelming the browsing shopper. Start to finish, it took us about 5 minutes to get to the purchase point with a U.S. Open Tote Bag ($75).

But as we noted when Amazon.com launched text-message based mobile buying platform TextBuyIt this spring, so far, mobile purchasing in the U.S. is going nowhere fast.

The phenomenon has been successful for several years in Asia, and more recently in Europe; American retailers have long been hoping (and predicting) that it will blow up in the U.S. at any moment. Somehow, though, the idea of buying via phone never seems to gain traction.

And kudos to Ralph for being a technological trend setter in his industry, but if mobile buying does start to take off, fashion would seem to be among the last categories to benefit. Digital music and video downloads are some of the most intuitive fits, followed by items people often buy on the go, like movie tickets, train tickets, and fast food. Will the added convenience provided by a mobile platform really drive additional purchases of items like $100 polo shirts or a $3,000 handbag? Not likely.

To support to big mobile push, Ralph Lauren has already said that it will be placing special codes in print ads, mailings, and store windows, which can be scanned to direct you to the store's mobile website. If you have a camera phone, and if you download special software. Hmm...not the catchiest process imagineable.

Plus, if you're in front of a Ralph Lauren store window, you might just want to pop inside rather than standing on the curb pecking out shipping information on your cell phone.

One situation where mobile retail might help RL pick up impulse purchases is at Ralph Lauren-sponsored sporting events. The U.S. Open, for instance, has ignited interest in specific Ralph Lauren items in the past, such as the polo shirts with enlarged pony logo that became popular after they were used on tennis umpires and ball boys in last summer's Open. One can imagine spectators, as captive audiences for their marketing, being spurred on to buy something from their seats.

Liz Gunnison