Will the Fed Buy My Crappy Car?

This past summer I fell in love with a used car, a 1970 Mercedes Benz 250 C. As midlife crises go, I thought this was relatively tame. No Harley. No hair implants. Tasteful. And since I needed a car this had the added virtue of being cheap at $5000, a fourth the price of the Prius I was considering. The thing ran a little rough but it seemed okay. I made it from Caroll Gardens in Brooklyn to Washington without too much trouble. Yes, it rattled. But hey it's 37 years old, made in a country--West Germany--that no longed exists. Of course, when it got to DC it developed the kind of severe troubles that a mechanic would have spotted had this not been an impulse purchase based on a test drive. Now I find out it's going to cost me $5K to get it running again. While I debate whether or not to double down on my investment, I ask Ben S. Bernanke, Henry Paulson and Tim Geithner to consider loaning me $5000 or taking the Benz as collateral. I know the Fed generally doesn't make personal loans but until this week they didn't bail out brokerage houses either. I know they don't lend to individuals, but until this week they didn't take crappy paper as collateral. So, I'm wonder now that the trading window is open--even on Sundays!--if I could hit ya up for a few bucks. Ben, please?