And then there were none.

Yet, true to form, America's long-time premier investment banking firm gives every indication that it will stride into the new era still shooting a mean cuff. While the Morgan Stanley confirmation release reads like pure disclosure, the Goldman release somehow feels much more like a statement.

Here's the parse.

Goldman: The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. (NYSE: GS) today announced that it will become the fourth largest Bank Holding Company and will be regulated by the Federal Reserve.

Translation: James Bond today announced that he will now also work nights as a security guard.

Goldman: In recent weeks, particularly in view of market developments, Goldman Sachs has discussed with the Federal Reserve our intention to be regulated as a Bank Holding Company.

Translation: This was our idea. Ours.

Goldman: We understand that the market views oversight by the Federal Reserve and the ability to source insured bank deposits as providing a greater degree of safety and soundness.

Translation: We understand that the market was eating one old Wall Street firm a day, and there were only two left.

Goldman: We view regulation by the Federal Reserve Board as appropriate and in the best interests of protecting and growing our franchise across our diverse range of businesses.

Translation: We view regulation by the Federal Reserve Board as essential and in the best interests of saving our ass-ets.

Goldman: Since the spring of this year, the Federal Reserve has been reviewing our liquidity and funding profile, capital adequacy and overall risk management framework. We are pleased that the Federal Reserve recognizes the strength and health of our liquidity and funding and the overall quality of our risk management. We have maintained our Tier 1 capital levels well above the Federal Reserve's "well-capitalized" threshold of 6 percent since these ratios were first calculated in 2004. For the past several quarters, in light of the difficult market environment, we have been reducing our risk exposures and increasing our capitalization. Our Tier 1 capital ratio at the end of the third quarter was 11.6 percent.

Translation: If others had managed themselves as we well as we did, this would have never happened.

Goldman: "When Goldman Sachs was a private partnership, we made the decision to become a public company, recognizing the need for permanent capital to meet the demands of scale. While accelerated by market sentiment, our decision to be regulated by the Federal Reserve is based on the recognition that such regulation provides its members with full prudential supervision and access to permanent liquidity and funding," said Lloyd C. Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs.

Translation: Actually, this is all just part of our long-term strategy. It was just accelerated by market sentiment... sort of the same way the New Orleans levy-upgrade strategy was accelerated by weather sentiment back in '05.

Goldman: "We believe that Goldman Sachs, under Federal Reserve supervision, will be regarded as an even more secure institution with an exceptionally clean balance sheet and a greater diversity of funding sources."

Translation: We'll still be Goldman. And we'll make this work much better than you think.

Goldman: Goldman Sachs already has two active deposit taking institutions - Goldman Sachs Bank USA and Goldman Sachs Bank Europe PLC - which, together, hold more than $20 billion in customer deposits. We are moving assets from a number of strategic businesses, including our lending businesses, into GS Bank USA. With over $150 billion in assets, GS Bank USA will be one of the ten largest banks in the United States.

Translation: We're getting on with it, and there will be no self-pity period.

Goldman: While these assets are fully funded for term, they also are available to be funded by the Federal Reserve.

Translation: Yes, we probably could have ridden this out. But then what?

Goldman: We intend to grow our deposit base through acquisitions and organically.

Translation: And we'll soon have ATM's on every corner. What color lollipops should we put in the bowl by the tellers?

Goldman: Goldman Sachs is a leading global investment banking, securities and investment management firm that provides a wide range of services worldwide to a substantial and diversified client base that includes corporations, financial institutions, governments and high net worth individuals.

Translation: We haven't updated our boilerplate description yet.

Goldman: Founded in 1869, it is one of the oldest and largest investment banking firms.

Translation: We thought we'd have a ceremony with Yogi Berra.

Goldman: The firm is headquartered in New York and maintains offices in London, Frankfurt, Tokyo, Hong Kong and other major financial centers around the world.

Translation: We were America's last great national champion in global finance. The bold deals will now all belong to sovereign funds.

The release did not comment on whether Goldman's new status would require it to either confirm or deny if it had once employed Borat.