Parsing Yahoo: We Agree With Microsoft, Carl

Microsoft got the drop on everybody by vaguely announcing Sunday afternoon it had reached out to Yahoo to discuss a new transaction. With a proxy war with Carl Icahn looming, Yahoo made its best effort to show that it still believes it controls its own future, dutifully responding with a statement of its own a few hours later.

The long War of Words is starting to influence the spin efforts of both Microsoft and Yahoo. Each is becoming increasingly clinical and -- relative to most corporations -- quick in executing the statements/strategic leaks required to keep from getting completely overwhelmed in the coverage. Responses that used to take days at the beginning of this process, are now taking hours.

At the same time, Jack Flack also empathetically points out that the statements are starting to show symptoms of the strain of this extended game. For instance, Microsoft's statement on Sunday afternoon included the following sentence.

Microsoft is not proposing to make a new bid to acquire all of Yahoo! at this time, but reserves the right to reconsider that alternative depending on future developments and discussions that may take place with Yahoo! or discussions with shareholders of Yahoo! or Microsoft or with other third parties.

The confusing ending of that sentence prompted BoomTown's Kara Swisher to openly wonder just exactly what the company meant, asking:

Say what, Willis?

Jack Flack always preferred the "What you talkin' about, Willis" line, but takes Swisher's point.

Yahoo then demonstrated its own stress with a sentence that would draw red ink from any high school English teacher.

Yahoo! has confirmed with Microsoft that it is not interested in pursuing an acquisition of all of Yahoo! at this time.

Is the antecedent for the non-interested "it" Microsoft or Yahoo? Is the confusion accidental or intentional?

When it comes to spin impact, Jack Flack will gladly trade the companies' new prejudice for speed and decisiveness for occasional syntactical impurity. Also, note that both companies have returned to using corporate statements instead of signed letters from the bosses, with the likely intention of not letting the proceedings become even more personalized to Steve Ballmer and Jerry Yang.

Yahoo clearly wants to avoid the avalanche that will occur if Microsoft ever says it's aligned with Carl Icahn. And thus, Yahoo's effort to confirm that Microsoft is indeed seeking a smaller deal warrants parsing.

Yahoo: Yahoo! Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO), a leading global Internet company, today issued the following statement in response to the announcement by Microsoft Corporation that it is continuing to review potential transactions with Yahoo!:

Translation: That's right, it's a "response." Not a "reaction." We're being responsive. Not reactive. And we're definitely not being defensive. We have absolutely no reason to be defensive.

Yahoo: Yahoo! has confirmed with Microsoft that it is not interested in pursuing an acquisition of all of Yahoo!...

Translation: Neither one of us interested in that. Did you hear that, Carl?

Yahoo: ...at this time.

Translation: But never say never.

Yahoo: Yahoo! and its Board of Directors continue to consider a number of value maximizing strategic alternatives for Yahoo!...

Translation: There are just so many different ways this company can succeed, and so it's hard to decide.

Yahoo: ...and we remain open to pursuing any transaction which is in the best interest of our stockholders.

Translation: We're completely open-minded in our slavish devotion to the interests of shareholders.

Yahoo: Yahoo!'s Board of Directors will evaluate each of our alternatives, including any Microsoft proposal, consistent with its fiduciary duties, with a focus on maximizing stockholder value."

Translation: We are so afraid of litigation that we will eventually end every sentence in any statement we make by extolling our commitment to our shareholders.