Remember the Good Old Days?
This would be less than a year ago, when
people were shocked by the very idea that someone would offer to buy a major financial institution like Bear Stearns for a mere $2 a share. How times have changed....
Welcome to the Future
Today that same $2
could buy two shares of Citigroup, which has about six times the assets Bear had in its prime. Okay, some of Citi's assets—an alarmingly unknown and perhaps unknowable percentage of its once-proud "alternative investments"—are what could be considered "toxic." So what else might you do with the two bucks burning a hole in your pocket?
Relive the Past
As the Dow slides toward 3,600, you could hark back to the days when books were seriously talking about the Dow rising to 36,000. Which stocks were recommended then? Maybe they'll come back. Copies
available online for $1.99.
Anticipate the Rebound
On second thought, maybe now is the time to jump back into real estate, which is bound to bounce back any day now—right? This lovely little fixer-upper in Saginaw, Michigan,
recently sold on eBay for $1.97. That's right, you would have gotten change from your $2 bill.
Go Long Livestock
Perhaps you're looking for something a bit more
alternative in your alternative investments. Exotic livestock, perhaps? Ostriches, llamas, and emus are out of your price range, but for less than $2 you can have one of these
buttercup breed chicks from the Murray McMurray Hatchery in Webster City, Iowa.
Become a Sophisticate
Urban dwellers might feel more comfortable sinking their savings into something a little easier to keep in a one-bedroom fifth-floor walkup. What better than wine? You can start with
$2-a-bottle reds and whites at Trader Joe's, stash them in your kitchen, cross your fingers, and
wait for Bonhams to come calling.
Invest In Your Education
While $2 won't get you very far at the Wharton School or Stanford, it can still work wonders at a newsstand. Pick up a newspaper, see what that supersmart
John Paulson is investing in these days and—oh, wait. You can't follow his lead. You've blown all your investment capital on the paper.
Invest In Your Career
By which we mean: Find a better job. Or find
any job, if you were recently downsized. A
$2 Metrocard will get you anywhere you need to go in New York City to meet a prospective employer. Of course, it's a one-way fare, so you'll have to walk home unless you want to chance jumping a turnstile.
Invest In Yourself
Come to think of it, maybe the smartest thing to do with your $2 is to invest it in a cup of coffee, put your feet up, and wait for the economic storm to pass.
