The Om Copier
Instead of losing your temper and raising your blood pressure the next time the office copy machine breaks down, use the Om Copier. It looks like any normal machine, but it releases the smell of fresh rain and plays the sounds of the rainforest to signal that there's a paper jam. —Andrea Chalupa
Magic 8 Ball of Excuses
Earnings missed again? Hiding from investors? Melt the stress away with this Magic Eight Ball of Excuses from the makers of Enron. Lawyer not included.
Mood Tie
Are your moods as volatile as the market? Whether you're feeling bullish or like a bear, do your employees a favor by sporting these ties that change color with your mood. Now no one will ever have to guess whether you're up, you're down, or you're up again!
Real Laser Pointer
Ever feel like your board meetings are missing something? Or tired of hearing the same old excuses when profits are down? One zap gets your point across with these real laser pointers. Goggles recommended.
Faux Cat for the Corporate Don
Thanks to Dr. Evil and Don Corleone, cat-petting by grown men has become a sign of power. Let your Faux Cat send the message that you're the kind of exec who can't be refused.
"I've Got to Take This" Button
Trapped by someone in your office who can't stop talking? Save yourself the liability of a trap door under their chair with the "I've Got To Take This" Button. One push and your phone rings instantly, letting you say, "I've got to take this."
Self-Ambulatory Post-Its
If you're like any busy executive, Post-It notes probably hang from the bottom of your computer screen like Christmas lights. Instead of keeping track of all those little pieces of paper, let them keep track of you. These two-legged notes chase after you when it's time to do whatever is written on them. Creepy, but helpful.
Going-Away Party in a Box
The next time you have to fire someone, spruce up the traditional hug and a handshake with this all-inclusive party in a box. Comes with paper hats and streamers touting inspirational messages. Cheaper than a golden parachute!
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