Say you’re a philanderer, but you think you’re safe because you go to a professional. It works fine, because these services are generally used to dealing with high-profile clientele and have earned a reputation for discretion. Oops—but then the madam gets caught and tries to help her own case by releasing information about her johns. This isn’t wholly unlike the actions of Deborah Palfrey, the “D.C. Madam” who put her clients’ digits on the internet. That day, the constituents of Senator David Vitter of Louisiana learned a little bit more about how he has kept himself busy when his wife wasn’t with him in Washington.

1. Tell Your Spouse
He or she needs to find out before your friends and family, if you’re hoping to hold on to your marriage. Your spouse can also be a valuable resource when brainstorming about how to control the story. If the story does break (see No. 2), the picture you want in the press is of the two of you standing side by side. It worked for Bill and Hillary.

2. Determine Whether You’ll Be Linked to the Story—and React Accordingly
If you know your number is on her list and it’s just a matter of time before someone makes the connection, objectively size yourself up. Are you important enough to be outed by name in the media? If you are a C-level executive, elected official, prominent businessperson, or board member of a high-profile company or charity, you probably are. Come forward and get your story out there before the media do. If you’re not sure, hold back and let the press make the connection on its own—if they ever manage to.

3. If You Are Going to Address It, Go Directly to the Press
If you expect the press will find out and expose you, then admit what you’ve done and get in front of the story. The best way to control the story is to be a participant in the news cycle. Hold a press conference, admit visiting the madam, ask the public for forgiveness, and address the ways that you and your family are working through it.

4. Don’t Dillydally
Generally speaking, the faster you deal with something unpleasant and take your medicine, the faster the unpleasantness goes away. Don’t avoid the scandal or try to obscure it. Address it and move on. Look at Martha Stewart: By choosing to serve her prison sentence as soon as she could, she helped put the situation behind her.

5. Don’t Try to Coopt Nationally Known Religious Leaders as Props
Should you bring in a famous religious leader to stand by you as you face the public? Absolutely not. (One caveat: You may do so if you regularly spend time with religious leaders or are often photographed going to services.) You must balance the need to demonstrate that you have support with the risk of turning the whole incident into a circus. Plus, bringing in the heavy celebrity artillery runs the risk of offending people.

6. Don’t Go Into Too Much Detail
You don’t need to confess every last particular, no matter how much the press goads you. Also, let’s say your tastes, um, run to the exotic? Chances are good that the madam won’t talk; she’s a businesswoman who doesn’t have much to gain by giving away salacious details. Just look at the Mayflower Madam and Heidi Fleiss, both of whom famously kept their mouths shut. (It was one of Heidi’s girls, and not Heidi herself, who named Charlie Sheen as a client.) If she does talk, don’t bother denying it, but find a way to say “No comment,” without using the actual words. (“No comment” is Latin for guilty these days.) Try “This is a private matter I’d rather not discuss.” Next.

7. Limit Your Media Appearances
After you've delivered your press conference, turn down the invitation to dish on the Howard Stern Show. You should take care of yourself and your family, and look toward the future. Address the situation quickly, on the most respectable outlets you can—two or three, at most—and move on. Don’t drag out the tawdry details; your goal is not to become the next Jessica Hahn.

8. Don’t Use Rehab as a Flanking Maneuver
Today, everyone goes to rehab. Increasingly, the public is becoming cynical. To use rehab as a publicity stunt is pretty transparent. If you need to go—i.e. you are an alcoholic or drug addict—then choose a serious place like Hazelden in Minnesota, which pioneered the 12-step program, rather than a resort like Promises Malibu, where Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears have demonstrated that you can check out on a whim.

When you’ve finished treatment, hold a press conference and release a statement. Reintroduce yourself to the public and recount the lessons you’ve learned: “I’ve recently completed a ___-day long stay at ___. The experience taught me ____. I can now understand why I did ___. You can rest assured that I left that part of my life behind me, and I can now concentrate on ___, ___, and ___.”

9. Move Past It
All too often, people let scandal drive them to places it shouldn’t. Keep going. Don’t let it ruin your marriage; don’t let it ruin anyone’s perception of you, including your family’s and your own; and don’t kill yourself. People will put it out of their minds if you do. (See Albert, Marv; Frank, Barney; and Morris, Dick.)

And heck, you can use the whole debacle as a gambit in the future, as in, “I’ve faced hardship in the past....”

10. Whatever You Do, Do Not Repeat Your Mistake
Americans are forgiving people, but their charity goes only so far. Once you’ve received the public’s forgiveness, you have to do what you said you were going to do, be it going to church more often or refraining from drinking. Because if you get caught again with your pants down, no one’s going to give you a second chance.

SOURCES: Jonathan Bloom, C.E.O., McGrath/Power Public Relations; Michael Connor, editor and publisher, Business Ethics magazine; and Michael Robinson, senior vice president, Levick Strategic Communications.