Run for your lives! The apocalypse is nigh. How can we tell? Celebrities are launching Web startups — again. Not since the height of the bubble, when the likes of Cindy Crawford, Michael Jordan, Matt Damon, and Patrick Stewart tried to cash in on dotcom fever, have so many stars lent their names to dubious online enterprises. The four horsemen are saddling up, and tech is asking for another trampling.

Hammer (He ditched the "MC" in the '90s.)
dancejam.com
U can't touch Hammer's Internet venturing skills. Well, maybe you can: Hammer is chief strategy officer of DanceJam, a video-sharing site where dancers upload clips of themselves.

Ashton Kutcher
ooma.com
Kutcher is the creative director of ooma, a VoIP company that offers free US calling to customers who buy its phone jack gadget. Just who is it that's being punk'd here, the investors or the consumers?

Kanye West
kanyetravel.com
For some reason, the rapper launched Kanye Travel Ventures, a fairly typical travel site where you can book discount airfare, hotels, rental cars, and vacation activities. What, no deals on Louis Vuitton luggage?

David Caruso
lexicondigital.tv
Caruso is CEO of Lexicon Digital Communications, which is "developing intellectual proprietary application solutions and products." Perhaps the rest of the CSI Miami team can figure out what the hell Lexicon does?

Andrew Shue
cafemom.com
Shue (Billy on Melrose Place) launched this social network where mothers can share stories, pictures, and advice--like don't let your daughter marry her sister's ex-husband who's sleeping with his coworker.