My Egg, My Choice, My Money
The Egg Hunt
The Cycle of Life
Abby E. has donated her eggs five times through Nancy Block's agency Center for Egg Options.
She started in 2006 when she was a 21-year-old college student studying nutrition. Now, at age 25, she just finished her fifth cycle and says she would happily complete the sixth (and final as required by the Food and Drug Administration) cycle.
Abby spoke with Portfolio.com about what motivated her to be a donor and her experiences. (Click here to read more about the egg-donation industry, and click here to get an explanation of the process.)
How did you get into the business of donating?
When I was a sophomore in college, I used to see advertisements in the [college newspaper] and would wonder, Is that for real? But then I came to find out my aunt and uncle needed to get a donor in order to get pregnant. That made me realize this was a real thing.
Why did you want to be a donor?
It's really nice knowing that you get to affect someone's life long term. You don't just make someone's day, you make someone's life. If I was in this situation, I would want someone to help me.
What did your parents say about your decision?
When I first told my parents, they were just concerned that it could cause harm later on. They were more than willing to give me my ancestors medical history, which is very important. My dad drove me to my first appointment. My mom drove me to the retrieval the second time. I've had boyfriends who either like it or were totally against it, but at the end of the day, it's my decision.
Did anyone say anything to discourage you?
Oh, sure. People say, "Doesn't it bother you that you have children out there somewhere?" I thought about it a lot, and I don't see it that way. The [baby] is their child. [The parents] are the ones who will be there for their college graduation. It's their child. I just get to do this little part to help them.
How much were you compensated?
The first time I was paid $5,000. The second and third time $7,000. After that I asked if I could raise the compensation. I felt like I was kind of a rare breed—I'm Jewish, and the mother has to be Jewish for the child to be Jewish. Also, I have a college degree, I am a returning donor, and I had to take off work. I was paid $9,000 for the fourth cycle and $9,500 the fifth time. The recipient didn't have a problem with that—when you want a child that badly, you're pretty much willing to do anything for it.
What would you say to those women who are solely motivated by the financial gain?
Do not just do it for the money. Sure, the money is great for college, but it is a lifelong decision. When those children turn 18, they have every right to search me out. The actions I take right now will affect my future. It's not a decision you make today—it's a life-altering decision. What if I came across someone who looked like me? You don't really find out (if the embryo transfer results in a child), and I kind of prefer it that way so I'm not searching for my offspring on Facebook. People who are just motivated by the money might not take it as seriously. You can't drink, smoke, have sexual intercourse, or exercise. That stuff really does affect the quality of your eggs. Doing it for the money is like selling a body part—you might as well sell a kidney or something. I'm sure people think that's why people do this, but that's why it's called donating. You have to be OK with giving that part of yourself away.
Kayla Webley is a freelance writer living in New York City.
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