Veterans of the cold (call) war often maintain that the sales cycle has a lot in common with romance: A top closer has to be an expert in piquing interest, building trust, demonstrating value, and overcoming objections—and a missed beat anywhere along the way can make the difference between sealing the deal and being shown the door. Who better to talk to for advice on salesmanship than a so-called professional pickup artist?

Among today’s P.U.A.’s, as they call themselves, few are more respected or better known than Mystery (a.k.a. Erik Von Markovic), the star of VH1’s hit reality series The Pickup Artist. In just a few years, Mystery has managed to build a small empire around teaching what he calls the “Venusian Arts,” or skills for triumph in relationships.

“At the end of the day, in courtship and in commerce, you’re trying to do the same thing: present a mutually beneficial vision of a reality together.” Though Mystery’s techniques focus on courtship, which he points out are “all about emotions,” while sales contains a fair amount of logic and negotiation, both succeed when there’s a solid understanding of basic social dynamics. For Mystery, it comes down to three critical phases in the courtship process: Capturing the interest of a target, creating comfort and getting a target accustomed to deeper interaction, and overcoming last-minute resistance to “close the deal.” Here are Mystery’s tips for getting the job done.

Natural (Pre) Selection In the attraction phase of courtship, you must demonstrate to the target that you command the respect and admiration of others—what Mystery calls establishing “social proof.” Your prospect’s time is valuable; why should he or she spend it with you?

A common way to establish social proof is by preselection, or demonstrating that others have already chosen you as a partner or associate. “It’s a hardwired behavior,” says Mystery. “Take a male grouse and put him in his territory all by himself, he’ll be hard-pressed to find a mate. But put a stuffed female next to him, and real females assume he has value and compete for his attention.”

Preselection in a business context means demonstrating that you have high-status clients and connections. “It’s why trade shows are so successful,” says Dan Seidman, author of the popular sales-technique book Sales Autopsy, explaining that such shows give salespeople the opportunity to connect with existing clients in front of new prospects. “You want prospects to see you’re a professional, and that you have strong connections with important players,” Seidman says.

Social proof is also demonstrated by not appearing too needy—the tried-and-true playing-hard-to-get routine. “When you first engage a prospect, you have to show you can take it or leave it,” says Mystery. Indicating interest, but disqualifying yourself—“You’d be a great client for us, if only we weren’t so busy right now”—puts a prospect in the mind-set of pursuing you, rather than preparing objections and building defenses to your solicitations. Seidman agrees it can be a useful strategy: While playing hard to get doesn’t always work, he says that salespeople sometimes need to demonstrate what he calls casual arrogance: “You want prospects to feel you’d like to have their business, but you don’t have to have their business.”