When Mattel chief Robert Eckert starts asking members of his staff about their childhood, he’s not just making small talk. He firmly believes that inquiring about someone’s parents, their college years, and even whether they played with Barbie dolls makes him a better leader. Getting personal, he insists, is an essential management tool.

Where did Eckert get that idea? It’s a tactic he learned firsthand back in 1977 while interviewing for a postcollege internship with now-retired Kraft retail food group president Keith Ridgway. Eckert went on to work at Kraft for 23 years in numerous positions, including president of Oscar Mayer, executive V.P. of the cheese division, and eventually chief executive from 1997 until 2000. But of all his various experiences at Kraft, it’s his interview with Keith that was perhaps the most educational. “He did not ask about my résumé or grades or experience but how I was raised,” Eckert says. At the time, he admits, it struck him as a bit “bizarre.”

Only in hindsight did Eckert, now 52, understand the point of Keith’s questioning. “There was a time in my career when I assumed everyone wanted to be like me. That is wrong,” he says. “Different people are motivated by different things.” Eckert believes that if he can determine—and tap—what drives the people who work for him, they’ll be more productive and loyal.

“Everything I’ve learned suggests that the No. 1 reason someone stays with a company is because of his or her immediate boss,” Eckert says. “If we can be better bosses, we will have better workforces.” Common sense and reams of research bear out his theory. Indeed, according to Gallup, more than 70 percent of the commitment employees have to their companies is related to the quality of management.

Mattel also seems to have benefited from Eckert’s personal style. When Eckert became C.E.O. in 2000, he created a 10-person management committee, on which seven of the original members still serve today. Further down the organizational chart, Mattel’s internal promotions have increased by 25 percent, with about 75 percent of open positions now filled internally, Eckert says. Since Eckert became chief executive, turnover among nonmanufacturing personnel has decreased by 50 percent.

“Companies can have terrific strategies, but it is the inability to execute them that makes the difference—and it is people who execute,” Eckert says.

To figure out what makes his executive team members tick, Eckert often meets with them individually outside Mattel’s El Segundo, California, headquarters, preferably nearby for dinner at Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse or for drinks at Friends of the Vine, in Redondo Beach. A casual social setting provides a suitable environment for chatting.

“Over a glass of wine, people can be very open about what is on their minds,” Eckert says. He has come to know Mattel’s most senior executives through conversations that have begun with his asking a direct question—“Where did you grow up?” or “How did you come to work at Mattel?” for instance. Then he listens for nuggets he can follow up on, such as people they both have in common. Over time, he has amassed a better understanding of each of his team members. “A lot of people cannot or do not want to tell you their deep thoughts, so you have to draw your own conclusions,” he says. “When you have been doing this for 20 to 30 years, you get more confidence in your ability to intuit things.”

Not everyone receives such personal attention. “I engage two groups of people,” he explains: the “high-potential people” he can imagine doing his job one day and the “good performers” whom he senses may have some issues with their current role that are keeping them from doing their best work. If Eckert can pinpoint what’s bothering someone and address it, he may be able to boost their satisfaction and productivity.
 
For example, Eckert was able to recognize that a particular senior executive thrived on praise from colleagues. The person has flourished during Eckert’s reign, receiving internal promotions and industry accolades. To this day, Eckert still goes out of his way to acknowledge the executive’s expertise, especially when among co-workers. Eckert’s admiration is genuine; otherwise he wouldn’t bother. “I make sure everyone knows that I know how good he is.”

To some, Eckert’s get-to-know-you management style sounds a little manipulative or even disingenuous. To this, Eckert replies, “I am not trying to play junior psychologist. I just believe that most people come to work and want to do a good job. It’s my job to help them do that.”