The battle to convince companies to accommodate a woman’s desire for a career and children has been going on for decades. But with working women stymied by inflexible bosses or the lack of company work-life policies, or opting out as a matter of personal choice, fewer seem willing—or able—to wage the fight. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 53.5 percent of married mothers with infants participated in the workforce in 2005, a drop of 6 points from 1997, the year the number peaked. For married moms with preschoolers, the figure was 60 percent, a 4 point drop from its high point in 1997 and 1998.

So with Mother’s Day around the bend, my two-year-old son sleeping in the next room, and my own deadline looming, I wondered whether bosses who have to accommodate the unique needs of mothers feel like they’re sitting next to a crying child on an airplane: Other parents sympathize, but passengers without kids fume. Does the boss have to be a parent to get it?

I called Thia Breen, president of Estée Lauder Worldwide, which employs thousands of women. She grew up as one of six kids in a family with two working parents. Breen has no children of her own—she never wanted any—but she’s managed moms throughout her 28-year career at the cosmetics giant. “I think I am pretty good at understanding and empathizing with what working mothers go through,” she tells me.

Oddly, Estée Lauder doesn’t have written policies that address the needs of working mothers, which is ironic given that a mother founded the company and her sons, Ronald and Leonard, are still involved with it. According to Breen, the company tries to meet the needs of working moms on a case-by-case basis.

The lack of any official written policy has never prevented Breen from accommodating her top lieutenants. She has been creating family-friendly schedules for the past 20 years. Back in the 1980s, one of Breen’s senior execs nearly quit after having her second child. Rather than let her go, Breen halved the executive’s responsibilities and allowed her to work three days a week. In another instance, when two of Breen’s top performers simultaneously announced that they were starting families and could no longer maintain full-time schedules, Breen solved the problem by having them share a single job. “It was groundbreaking at the time,” she says. “It worked perfectly.” And just two weeks ago, Breen’s head of human resources discovered that the day-care facility she intended to use for her newborn twins would not accept both children, so Breen agreed to let her work from home on Fridays for a year.

Breen’s not just acting out of the kindness of her heart. She keeps the bottom line in mind and expects everyone to deliver results. “The number must match the story,” she states unequivocally. By this she means financial goals must be met. Judging employees primarily on the merits of what they produce rather than on how many hours they’ve worked (or when and where they’ve worked them) gives high-performing working mothers a lot more opportunities and leeway.

Of course, bending over backwards for working moms doesn’t always sit well with everyone. When it comes to managing other employees’ potential resentment, “you have to take a strong leadership role,” says Breen. “I just do not permit eye-rolling, and I also let people know I will bring in temporary help if they need it.”

In making accommodations, Breen is realistic; she knows there are limits to what both an employer and a mother can handle. “We are in a world of global travel, and it is hard to go to Asia on Monday and be back by Friday,” she says, adding that she makes special work-time arrangements only for those she calls top talent—employees she does not want to lose. Breen also acknowledges that even for the best performers, working from home can be a career handicap. “A lot of stuff goes on in doorway meetings,” she says. For flexible work arrangements to be successful, Breen knows that Estée Lauder has to establish more-formal supports—technical and otherwise—to make working from home easier, something the company is in the process of doing.

On May 10, Breen will be at Manhattan’s Pierre hotel for the National Mother’s Day Council’s annual Outstanding Mother Awards luncheon, which will honor working moms including Glenn Close and clothing designer Eileen Fisher. Handing out awards to women who have raised kids and built careers is admirable, but bosses like Breen also deserve a nod for helping bridge the gap between the jobs mothers want and the jobs they can have. Until companies realize what leaders such as Breen already know—that having a talented woman work part-time is better than not having her work at all—and make the necessary accommodations, an abundance of brainpower will continue to go untapped.